An interlude of Useful Tips:

We momentarily interrupt this Blog to bring you the following useful information:

Random USEFUL Tips when travelling through Thailand and SE Asia:

-Always Haggle!

....Most of you know this by now, but whenever bargaining for most things is the rule of thumb in SE Asia. While in Thailand you can only know $1-$2 bucks off your items (due to the long history of tourism and increasing popularity in having something more near "fixed" pricing) however in Bali make sure to haggle your socks off since prices are jaw-droppingly as high as 6 times the price you should be paying.

Example: Laquerware bowls, set of 3: starting Price: 650,000 IRH post-haggle "morning*" price (what we paid): 100,000.

Vietnam is somewhere in between. Since Vietnamese tend to come off as less smiley and can been percieved as more rude and unwavering you just need to stand your haggling ground. Vietnamese have the best poker-faces throughout all the country's I've been in around here, but when shopping if you have a haggling objective, try and stand your ground. You can always walk away and come back later if need be.

-The Morning Price: Buy you Shit in the Morning!

....ok, so we here in Asia believe that the first sale of the morning is lucky, and are quick to make the first buck, regardless of what kind of massive discount they give. After the first sale of the morning is made the money of the first sale is commonly useds as a charm which the shop-owner then taps on all his merchandise for a "lucky" day. Some store owners simply tap their cash register. If you watch you'll see it, and if you listen you'll hear it, (i.e. Bali) "Hello Hello! You come look. I give you morning price! Special Price! Look here!"

No ladies and gentleman they aren't shitting you... they really are out to give you a good deal... but only if you are the first.

Shop owners can get aggressive to make the first sale (with you and with other competeing shop owners) but don't worry, before you head into the market remember to have a mental list prepared of what you would like to buy, don't get side tracked by all the other amazing deals of junk people will throw at you.

Remember: the most important rule of shopping/haggling in SE Asia (particularly in Bali or in the morning) is to act not interested, as if you could just walk away and not look back...that is the best poker face. Realistically- you can just walk away, since most likely there is the same crap at the next three stalls down idetical to the thing you were looking at.


-Buy the Beer in Advance

For most outdoor shows, or train rides you should by the beer in advance. usually there is a cute old man or lady selling beer out of a bucket near an entrance to an outdoor performance. When boarding a night or day train get the beer at the train station. While you cannot drink it in the party car (read below) you can drink it in your seat and it usually costs 2x the price in the train while moving.

-Train it always at night- 2nd class-bottom bunk (with Air Con, but beware the cold!)

So the great part about sleeper trains is that they are seats in which beds fold out of. If you get the bottom bunk its actually more spacious w/ headroom and there is more privacy/darkness with the aisle curtains.

The problem with 2nd class sleepers is the Air-Con is always so "fuck me I'm in Antarctica" cold! So one time Olli and I opted for 2nd class sleepers w/ fan only. DOn't Do it unless you like sleeping with Cockroaches! Unfortunately 2nd class w/ fan doens't mean "yay it's warmer" sadly it mean "hi, I'm the older, shittier car before air con was installed and because I'm older, shittier and warmer I come with roaches!"

....yeah... so my advice: pack 2 sweaters, wear layers, book the bottom bunk (at least 3+ days ahead) and get the Air-Con Roach-free Freezer train.

-Always insist- Meter ON!

From Bangkok to Bali to Hanoi, Taxi's like to scam you. They try every trick in the book. When you get in, insist meter on, right away. if they don't get the fuck out of the cab. Any decent travel book will expound on this so I don't need to.

-Night Bus from Islands= Theft Central

So I really prefer the night train to the night bus since you can lay all the way down in the train, while the bus's reclining seats give my knees horrible aches. (NOTE: All buses around Thailand are faster than the train by several hours or more, I prefer the slow train regardless.)

The only time I have ever been robbed in all of my travels has been in Thailand one night bus coming back from the islands of Thailand to Bangkok. I "stupidly" left my snap camera and $50 USD in my large backpack which was under the bus. During the night, while the bus is moving someone hides inside the undercarriage of the tour bus and seaches for hours through peoples bags. Since they have so much time they can search carefully and repack things the way they were. The company I took when I was robbed was "LOMPRAYAH" which unfortunately is the company which runs the fastest Catamaran boats to Koh Tao. (ugh, you just can't win.)

-Fast Boats to Islands: BOOK AHEAD!

Boats heading to the islands in the Gulf of Thailand get booked up fast. As I said before the fastest way to get to Koh Tao is by booking with LOMPRAYAH (aka, theft night bus central)
it'll only take 90 mins from Chumpon to Koh Tao, but I don't recommend them for busing back due to theft reasons.


-try for Motorbike insurance ...because they will screw you in the ass!

Most motorbike rental places throughout Thailand have insurance policies. GET THEM GET THEM GET THEM! I can't stress this enough, since if you wreck or even scratch the bike you will be paying upwards of 15,000 baht and they will hold your passport from you until you fork up the dough (whether they even repair the bike or not- usually they pocket the money and never really repair minor-moderate cosmetic damage.)

-The party Car= Fun Times!

I've raved about the train travel a bit so far, but what makes it extra special is the PARTY CAR! The food cars on most Thai trains are open until 10 pm, come with a friend staff, swinging blinky christmas light decorations and blaring loud Esarn/Thai music (ala synth Keyboard) they are quirky, kitschy and really fun to have at least one over-priced beer in. Make sure you go!, but make sure to bring your valuables with you.


....And that does it for this addition of Mellington's travels tips through SE Asia and Thailand. We now return you to your regularly broadcasted blog postings.

*Thank you, and Goodnight*

*Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*